Me: Today lying under a big tree in a small park within Tiergarten, bathed in 32degree sunshine reading a great book on my new rug
Creepy 30something man: Circling big tree where I was lying, staring at me with a crazed look on his face
Me: Putting the contents of my blissful summer's afternoon spread back into my bag, finishing off my chapter and zipping up my handbag
Me: Getting really worried and looking around for other people close by..spotted normal 20something guy close by..phew
Creepy 30something man: Entering the bushes, thinks I cannot see him and is standing there spying on me!
Me: Disgusted!! But also thanking Karen Walker for my super size sunglasses that are disguising my eyes and enabling me to watch his every move..
Creepy 30something man: Rapid movement from behind a generously sized shrub, appears to be engaging in the most sickening activity a man could do in public
Me: Rolling up my rug and running and wondering if I shall call the cops??
Normal 20something guy: Looks of sympathy and mutters a German sentence to me..the only part I could translate is 'er ist krank'..he is sick
On my train home I was humming the 'Teddy Bear's Picnic' song...
"If you go out in the woods today,
you'd better not go alone.
It's lovely out in the wood's today,
but safer to stay at home.
Beneath the trees, where nobody sees
They'll hide and seek as long as they please
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic".
THE END
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